


counterfactuals

by apaixono



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 14:06:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7466244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apaixono/pseuds/apaixono
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Of what wasn't, and what was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	counterfactuals

This is what never happens:   
  
They sit on the old swing set in Junmyeon's backyard, feet kicking up dust as they occasionally rock their own swings. Moonlight casts its glow softly on them, making their shadows a bit subdued as it falls and melts into the dark lawn behind them. It's a bit chilly for a summer night, too cold to be out in only shorts and jerseys and loose shirts, but they don't mind—after all, it's their the last one before they go back to school for their senior year.   
  
"I have a confession to make," Junmyeon announces, fingers wrapped loosely on the chains. The paint is starting to chip off, the green pitch black in the darkness of the night. "Promise me you won't laugh."   
  
"I'll try my best," Kyungsoo answers with mock solemnity, kicking his feet mindlessly on the lawn. His newly bought Vans make soft thudding noises on the ground, the grass still untouched with dew. "Although if it's a joke, I'll probably not laugh even if you didn't tell me to."   
  
"Oh, ha ha." Junmyeon kicks a cloud of dust in his direction. "Excuse you, my jokes are very funny."   
  
"Highly debatable." Kyungsoo shrugs, earning him another dust cloud. "Jesus, soccer superstar, cool it. I'm kidding. What is it?"   
  
The latter swings back and forth a bit, rocking on his toes for a while before answering. "I'm scared," He finally says, voice uncharacteristically soft, small. Junmyeon is a tiny man with a strong voice, one that makes you notice him even if you can barely see him in a crowd. But now, now Junmyeon's voice is small, as small as he is, and it worries Kyungsoo. "I'm scared to go back to school. I'm scared because it's my— _ our _ —last year. I'm scared of not making the most of our last nine months in high school. I'm scared of the future, Soo."   
  
"I think everyone is scared of the future, in one way or another," Kyungsoo hums. "It'll be quite freaky not to, y'know? The uncertainty can be unsettling. It's perfectly normal."   
  
"I know, I know," Junmyeon sighs. "But I still can't shake off the feeling, you know? What if I fail all my subjects? What if we don't win the championships this year? What if I couldn't attend my last prom? What if I get rejected on all the colleges that I apply to? What if—"   
  
"Junmyeon," He cuts him off, firm but not unkind. "Breathe. You'll be fine. We'll be fine. Alright? You can do whatever you put your heart into, and you will be fine."   
  
"How do you know that? Anything can happen, you know," Junmyeon mumbles uncertainly. "You put too much faith in me, Kyungsoo."   
  
"I do, because I know you can," Kyungsoo says simply. "You're Kim Junmyeon: running for batch valedictorian, incoming soccer team captain, and pretty much the entire school's crush and/or life goal. You'll be just fine."   
  
"Not everyone has a crush on me," The latter snorts. "Chanyeol doesn't, Jongin doesn't. You don't. Or do you?"   
  
_ Yes. I have. For a long time now. _ "Dude, what the hell," Kyungsoo laughs, kicking up a dust cloud at his direction. It's feebler than Junmyeon's, but he doesn't mind. "I'll take it that you're feeling better, now that you have the guts to tease me."   
  
"I'm the only one who can get away with it without getting maimed. I plan to maximize this power of mine," Junmyeon say smugly, and Kyungsoo responds by reaching over to pinch him on the arm. Hard. "Hey!"   
  
"What a baby," He rolls his eyes fondly. "A big, whiny baby who will probably get to all the colleges he applies to, bag the soccer tournament championships and MVP title for the fourth time in a row, receive countless confessions and promposals, win prom king, and graduate with top honors, all in one year."   
  
"Flattery will get you nowhere, Do Kyungsoo. My arm still hurts," Junmyeon huffs, but a small smile is creeping up his lips. "You really think I can do it?"   
  
"I don't just think, I know," Kyungsoo hums, reaching over to cover Junmyeon's hand in his, thumb running across his knuckles comfortingly. His hand is cold and clammy, as usual. Junmyeon's hands are always cold; perhaps his body ran out of warmth to spare, with his ever warm eyes and warm smile and warm, warm heart. "Don't ever doubt yourself, alright? You'll go places, Junmyeon. I know you will."   
  
"Will you go with me?" The latter asks softly as he turns his palm so he could hold Kyungsoo's hand properly, fingers gripping his own tightly—his way of seeking comfort, as if all the answers in the world are in the spaces between Kyungsoo's fingers. "Will you be with me?"   
  
"Every step of the way," He promises, earning him a smile as bright as the moon above them. It makes him smile as well, his heart-shaped smile that rarely appears in front of others but never hides itself around Junmyeon. He couldn't wear his heart on his sleeve—too much fear and doubt harboring in it for it to rest where the world can easily see it—so he wears it on his smile instead, so those who can see it are only those who earn it. Like Chanyeol, when he does something so silly it's endearing, or Jongin, when he convinces him to get milk tea and chicken chops instead of slaving over homework not due for another two days. And of course, Junmyeon. Always Junmyeon.   
  
"Then that's all I need," Junmyeon says and they spend the rest of the night in quiet contentment, with the occasional squeaking of the swings, the cicadas coming out to play, and the sound of feet kicking off from the ground. Their interlocked hands hang loosely between them, swinging in sync to their own movements. The wind is cool, the moon is bright, and the future looms oh so closely, breathing down on their necks and filling up their thoughts—but they're okay. They'll be okay.   
  
  


  
  


  
This is what never happens:   
  
"Please don't tell me those are for me." Kyungsoo looks up in horror as Jongin approaches him with an armful of ledgers. "I will give you my firstborn child, Jongin, I swear to God. Just please get those away from me."   
  
"I don't need your kid, hyung. These are for me." The student council treasure rolls his eyes, taking a seat in front of him and pulling out his laptop. "I have to refile all of these. Apparently, the previous treasurer didn't sort them by event nor kept a soft copy, so here I am."   
  
Kyungsoo winces in sympathy. "That blows, man," He says. "At least you don't have to sift through school fair proposals? I'm barely done with the booths, I still have to read through designs, logistics, and the concert."   
  
"I'm not sure which pile is worse, to be honest." Jongin shakes his head ruefully. "How many beer pong-inspired booth proposals have you read through?"   
  
"Five," He replies gloomily, and the younger laughs as they both go back to their respective work piles.   
  
The student council workroom is quiet, save for Jongin's fingers flying across his keyboard, the occasional shuffling of paper, and the whirring of the humidifier in the corner. On most days, it's calming and serene, a perfect environment to work. But today, on a gloomy Wednesday afternoon, an exceptionally difficult hump day filled with motion law experiments, trigonometry, snippets of The Iliad, and an intense game of dodgeball in PE earlier, the quiet is making him want to pillow his head on the piles of papers that he's reading through and nap. He's so tired. So, so tired. But above being exhausted, he's also the student council vice-president, and so he is obligated to read through these proposals for the upcoming school fair. Sighing, Kyungsoo flexes his fingers and goes back to marking the proposals with his trusty red pen, wishing that the workroom had a coffee machine to keep them awake. Managing whimsical, rowdy, and hormonal teenage boys and girls is no easy task; they should at least get them some caffeine as compensation.   
  
But maybe wishes do come true, because the strong smell of coffee and cinnamon suddenly cuts through the air, and Kyungsoo jumps as a still steaming cup of his usual caramel latte from the café near their school is placed in front of him. He looks up to see Junmyeon grinning at him, holding a cup carrier and an apple green takeout box.   
  
"Special delivery for our hardworking council members," He chirps, clearing a portion of the table to make room for the box—cinnamon roll bites, the ones covered in glaze and chocolate chips that Kyungsoo absolutely adores. Junmyeon even remembered to get forks, because while the treats are heavenly and worth every cent, they can get messy. "Hey, Jongin. Chai latte, extra syrup, right?"   
  
"You are a gift from the gods, hyung," Jongin says, making grabby hands for his drink. "I'm not sure how I'm even functioning right now."   
  
"Same," Kyungsoo hums, spearing a cinnamon roll with his fork. "Thanks for the coffee, Junmyeon. How did you know we were here?"   
  
"I'm awesome like that." Junmyeon waggles his eyebrows, reaching for paper towels to dab the glaze and chocolate off of Kyungsoo's face. "So, what's up, team? What are we working on today?"   
  
"School fair matters. Your section's booth proposal sucks," Kyungsoo says flatly, batting his hands away. "Seriously? A bouncy castle?"   
  
"Hey! I liked that idea, I voted for that." Junmyeon genuinely looks hurt, and while his heart is growing softer by the second, it's still ridiculous. "Inflatables are the bomb. They're fun and relaxing—"   
  
"And need an insane amount of space and energy. We're working on a tight budget here, ask Jongin if you want figures." He shakes his head, going back to the report he was marking.   
  
"Yo, don't include me in your lover's spat. I'm just here for the free drinks." Jongin raises his hands in surrender, which he uses as his primary line of defense as Kyungsoo throws his pen at him.   
  
"I don't want figures, I want a bouncy castle." The latter shrugs, moving to take the red pen from the floor. "Look, Soo, it'll be a great investment. A lot of kids come to the fair, and kids at heart love it, too. It probably won't be empty for more than a minute, trust me. It's going to be fun."   
  
"Inflatables are not fun anymore after a few minutes," Kyungsoo grumbles as he roots around his finished pile for 4-A's booth proposal. "You are all children."   
  
"No, we just like fun. Unlike you, Mr. Uptight Vice-President," Junmyeon singsongs, placing his hands to his shoulders and slowly working out the knots left there by hours of slouching over paperwork. "Look, you're all tense and stuff. You know what'll make this go away?"   
  
"A bouncy castle?" He asks, trying his hardest not to slump right there and then. He's just so tired.   
  
"Well, I was going to say a good night's rest, but a bouncy castle works, too." Junmyeon grins cheekily. "So does that mean our proposal is approved?"   
  
"You're horrible," Kyungsoo mutters, but he caves in and writes 'yes' on the corner of the paper anyway. Junmyeon takes this as his cue to celebrate, bouncing around and hollering for a while before hugging  him around the neck, smile bright and happy despite the overcast skies outside.   
  
"You two are so cute it's disgusting. You make me feel alone and lonely in this dreary world, and I have a girlfriend." Jongin rolls his eyes at them, but it's fond and wistful rather than condescending. Still, he makes a show of noisily arranging the ledgers into two neat piles and shoving his laptop inside his bag. "I'm going ahead before I catch the love bug in here."   
  
"More like Soojung is already waiting for you outside and your head will be on a silver platter if you're late," Kyungsoo snorts, trying and failing to shrug Junmyeon off. He gives up after a while—Junmyeon is warm, his chest a strong, solid wall pillowing his head in the best way possible.   
  
"That, too. You know how she is," Jongin laughs, standing up and hefting his backpack on his shoulder. "I'll talk to you later about the conduct report we have to submit, yeah? Bye, Junmyeon hyung! Thanks for the drink!"   
  
"Bye, Jongin!" Junmyeon waves cheerfully, and he waits for the the younger to  leave the workroom before he finally unlatches from Kyungsoo's neck and taking a seat beside him. Kyungsoo tries not to miss the warmth. "And you, kind sir? What time do you plan on going home?"   
  
"In an hour, maybe. I'm almost done with the juniors' proposals," He says. "I really do have to have these forwarded to the committees by this weekend."   
  
"Alright." The latter squares his shoulders and pulls the report closer to him, scrutinizing the haphazardly-drawn figure on the front. "An inflatable life-sized beer pong-inspired basketball game.  _ Nice _ ."   
  
"What are you doing?" Kyungsoo frowns, pulling the report back towards him. "Also, not nice. This is the sixth beer pong-inspired proposal I've read through tonight.  _ No _ ."   
  
"Helping you so we can go home earlier." Junmyeon shrugs, taking the report back and scribbling a quick 'maybe' on the corner before placing it on the finished pile. "We can go through these proposals faster together. Hand me the next one, would you?"   
  
"What do you mean, we? I can manage doing this and going home alone," He insists. "I can manage. You can go ahead, get some rest. You have practice tomorrow, right?"   
  
"Don't worry your pretty little head about me, I'll be fine." Junmyeon winks, reaching over to pat him on the cheek as he snatches another report on top of the unfinished pile. "I know you want to rest, too. Let me help."   
  
"As if you can be of help. You approved two inflatables now," He snorts. "Junmyeon, we don't have the space for that."   
  
"Ye of little faith. We'll make it happen." Junmyeon waves him off airily. "Now, stop whining about my company and look at this. It's a cupcake decorating station. How awesome is that? Can we approve this? Please?"   
  
Kyungsoo sighs in defeat and places a large red check on the report before placing it on the finished pile. When Junmyeon puts his mind on something, it can be extremely difficult to talk him out of it. "What about a face paint booth?" He says instead, flipping through the pages as Junmyeon scoots closer and examines the proposal with him, their shoulders brushing.   
  
  


  
  


  
This is what never happens:   
  
"Come on, we're going to be late!" Chanyeol says excitedly as they weave through the excited crowd to get to their seats. "God, Kyungsoo, can you walk any slower?"   
  
"Calm down, it hasn't even started," Kyungsoo grumbles, barely audible over the loud EDM being played on the speakers and the enthusiastic chatter of the audience. "The teams are still in the dugouts. Jesus."   
  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Chanyeol grins at him as they finally reach their seats, right in the middle bleachers of the seats for the SM High Grey Wolves. "I know you're excited, so don't try to act all aloof on me."   
  
"This isn't acting, believe me," He rolls his eyes. "Run everything quickly for me so I don't ask questions every minute or so later?"   
  
"Alright. Soccer is basically just maneuvering the ball towards the opponent's goal using only the feet, knees, chest, and head," Chanyeol explains as he loots through his takeout paper bag for his fries.  "Games usually last for 90 minutes plus what you call stoppage time, which referees add to the clock to make up for time lost in between plays."   
  
"Wait, they don't stop the time when there's a foul or something?" Kyungsoo asks.   
  
"Unlike basketball, no. The time just keeps going," The tall man shrugs. "Anyway, there are four main positions: the goalkeeper, who protects the goal, obviously; the defender, who tries to intercept, steal, or just block the opposing team from approaching the goal; the forward, who tackles the offense; and the midfielder, who is both a defender and a forward. Junmyeon is a midfielder, in case you were wondering, and a pretty good one at that."   
  
"Uh huh," He hums, not really taking anything in.  His best friend may be the soccer team captain, but he knows almost nothing about soccer, and attending their school's soccer games just leaves him even more confused. It doesn't help that Chanyeol is an over enthusiastic soccer fan, and that sometimes he gets so carried away with cheering that he forgets his obligation to explain to Kyungsoo what is going on. Without his helpful commentary, Kyungsoo will never understand what is going on. "So basically they just kick the ball around."   
  
Chanyeol sighs, barely heard over the pounding of the school drums. "I'll just explain important plays later," He says exasperatedly as the other team slowly trickles out of the dugout. "Honestly, Soo, ask Junmyeon to teach you the basics sometime. He's the captain of our school team, he'll be able to explain it more."   
  
"I'd rather not," Kyungsoo snorts as the commentator, a scrawny boy with shockingly orange hair and bunny-like features a few years his junior excitedly announces the start of tonight's game. It's their last one before the semifinals, and the Grey Wolves are a win away from securing a top seat in the semis. The field is thrumming with anticipation, palpable among the cheers and the drums in the sea of grey, blue and red. "He'll just yak on and on and I wouldn't understand a thing."   
  
"Cut him some slack, man. Of course he'll do that, he loves the sport," Chanyeol punches him on the shoulder. "It's hard to stop talking about things that you love, you know? Why, you should listen to him drone on and on whenever he talks about y—OH! OH! HERE THEY COME!"   
  
Kyungsoo sets aside his question of what exactly Junmyeon animatedly talks about whenever they hang out as he sees their soccer team jog out of the dugout, grey jerseys billowing in the cool afternoon breeze. The commentator excitedly calls out each player, the yells from the bleachers growing louder and louder as each player steps forward and greets his schoolmates.   
  
"And our captain and midfielder, jersey number 01, Kim Junmyeon!" The commentator cheers, and Kyungsoo grins at the sight of the speck that is Junmyeon wave enthusiastically at their side, the yells and claps (and occasional "Junmyeon oppa, we love you!" from his fangirls) bordering on deafening. He has always been popular, even during his rookie year. He has also always been this small, one of the tiniest in the team. Some things never change, Kyungsoo supposes as he watches both teams shake hands and move towards their respective benches. He may fill out his uniform better now, and his fangirls turned from noonas to younger, over enthusiastic freshmen, but even after four years, deep inside, Junmyeon is still the rookie who scored the legendary—and only—goal that bagged them the championship. Same heart, same drive, same love for his team and his sport.   
  
And after four years of watching him grow into a soccer superstar, Kyungsoo is still confused about the sport. That's another thing that wouldn't change, he thinks as a buzzer sounds and the game begins. He leans back and indulges himself in his carton of fries as he tries (and fails) to understand the game, depending on Chanyeol's reactions to know when to cheer.   
  
"YES!" Chanyeol roars for about the third time in a row, jumping up and clapping his hands like he's the coach and not just a regular spectator. "Yes! That was fantastic! Yes!"   
  
"He didn't score, though," Kyungsoo squints as the blurs of grey and red move towards the other end of the field.   
  
"No, but Luhan was able to steal before it went in the 18-yard box," Chanyeol grins. "Oh, hey, look! Junmyeon has the ball!"   
  
"I can see that," Kyungsoo finds himself smiling as the blur of grey zooms by, a stark black 01 emblazoned on his jersey. This little speck is the reason why he still goes to soccer games despite knowing close to nothing about the sport—jersey 01 for the SM High Grey Wolves, their highly-acclaimed captain, and his best friend. For Junmyeon, he is willing to give up his afternoons, most of them after school, just so he can be part of the crowd that cheers the entire team on. For Junmyeon, he is willing to go deaf for a few hours if it meant seeing him play the sport that makes him feel alive. For Junmyeon, he is willing to sit through roughly two hours of a sport that he cannot understand nor find himself interested in just so he can see Junmyeon break into the biggest, brightest, warmest smiles ever whenever he sees him seated on the bleachers holding blow-up clappers.   
  
For Junmyeon, he is willing to do a lot of things.   
  
"Kim Junmyeon with the ball, but three Monsters are catching up wi—OH! OH! THAT FAKE! MARVELOUS! THE COAST IS CLEAR! Can he make it? Can he make it?" The announcer is practically bouncing in his seat, and Kyungsoo sits up a little straighter as he watches the small blur dribble the ball, weaving through the defenders with ease. Junmyeon finally gets an opening, and Kyungsoo holds his breath as he kicks it towards the goal, the ball arcing perfectly—   
  
—and brushing the goalie's fingertips before hitting the net behind him.   
  
"GOAL!" Chanyeol yells, voice just a little audible above the din, and this time, Kyungsoo joins his friend in jumping up and cheering as Junmyeon pumps his fist at their general direction, elated. Pride swells in his chest as the game continues, his eyes never leaving jersey 01 the entire time.   
  
The Grey Wolves finish strong at 3-0, with another goal from Junmyeon and one from Minseok. The team carries Junmyeon and Minseok on their shoulders the moment the buzzer sounds, throwing them in the air and cheering loudly. Kyungsoo couldn't help but grin at the spectacle—and at the sight of a panicked Junmyeon flying in the air—as he hefts his knapsack on his shoulders and lets himself get tugged by Chanyeol towards the dugouts.   
  
"Come on, he's waiting for you," He says cheekily, long fingers still wrapped around his wrist as he all but skips down the stairs, forcing Kyungsoo to break into a jog to keep up. "Wouldn't want to prolong the MVP's agony longer than necessary, eh?"   
  
"Shut up, Chanyeol," Kyungsoo replies, almost missing a step in the taller's haste. But he doesn't mind, even when his skin turns pink at Chanyeol's death grip and even if he almost falls flat on his face again when they run towards the field, because when Junmyeon spots them, he breaks into the brightest of smiles and frees himself from his elated teammates to run towards Kyungsoo and pull him into a bone-crushing hug.   
  
"You came," He says, breathless but happy. He smells like sweat and grass and his favorite apple shampoo, his hair sticking to his forehead that makes him look even younger. "You watched me play?"   
  
"Of course. When did I miss a game?" Kyungsoo pulls back to grin at him, pinching his cheeks fondly. Junmyeon's arms stay snug on his waist, supporting him as he leans back and cradles the latter's face in his hands. "My soccer superstar did it again. What did I tell you?"   
  
"Thank you," Junmyeon wraps his arms around him once more, quite possibly tighter than earlier, as if Kyungsoo's going to disappear at any second. What a silly boy. There's no place he'd rather be but here, surrounded by his schoolmates cheering, the fresh scent of grass and victory, and Junmyeon—his warmth, his hug, his bright smile. He's not going anywhere.   
  
But he hugs him just as tightly, all the same.   
  
  


  
  


  
This is what never happens:   
  
"Good job on the fair, hyung," Jongin grins at him, a cup of lemonade loosely held in his hand. The sun is high and bright, but the breeze makes it a pleasant day nonetheless. A perfect day for a school fair. "The inflatables were a big hit after all."   
  
"I know. I owe Junmyeon a drink, he kept gloating earlier," Kyungsoo groans, tucking his phone inside his shorts pocket. "But it's smooth so far, right? The committee heads are quiet, and I haven't seen anything out of place."   
  
"It's great, actually. Don't stress about it so much, hyung, it'll be fine," Jongin nudges him with his elbow. "You deserve a drink, too. You did a good job."   
  
"Of course he did a good job, he's Do Kyungsoo," A voice pipes up out of nowhere, and Kyungsoo sighs as an arm wraps itself around his shoulders and a cold cup is pushed into his hand. He turns his head to see Junmyeon grinning at him, looking annoyingly amazing in his plain white polo and khaki shorts. "Hello, event head."   
  
"Get off me, it's warm," He complains, but he makes no move to shrug him off as he takes a sip of the drink. "What's this?"   
  
"Strawberry slushie, your highness," Junmyeon drawls. "Come on, stop working. Let Jongin spend time with his girlfriend and let's go around your fair."   
  
"Actually, I do have to go in a bit. Soojung's trying to win the big teddy bear at the game booths," Jongin shrugs. "Says it looks like me. I better save the poor guy manning the booth."   
  
"Good luck," Kyungsoo snorts. "I'd go with you to see her yell at you, but I have to watch over this little baby right here."   
  
"Hey," Junmyeon complains as the younger bursts out laughing. "I am  _ not _ a baby."   
  
"You approved a bouncy castle," He shoots back, slurping his drink noisily.   
  
"Which, now that you've mentioned it, we are going to try right now. You need to learn how to appreciate bouncy castles," Junmyeon says. "See you around, Jongin. Hope Soojung wins the bear."   
  
"Have fun, hyung," Jongin chuckles, waving at them as Junmyeon promptly steers Kyungsoo away towards the direction of the bouncy castle.   
  
"But what about my drink?" Kyungsoo complains as they weave around the crowd milling around the field. "Junmyeon, I want to finish my drink. Win me a plushie first or something."   
  
"A plushie? Really?" Junmyeon snorts, but he changes their course and moves towards the game booths anyway. "Which one do you want?"   
  
"That one," Kyungsoo points to the big penguin hanging on one of the booths with his drink. "I want that penguin. Come on, soccer superstar."   
  
"Hey, you can't pull the soccer superstar card every time, you know," The latter grumbles. "Besides, this requires hand-eye coordination, not...soccer skills. Who approved of this balloon dart game, anyway?"   
  
"You," Kyungsoo snickers as they approach the said game booth, made to look like a Disney film setup. The balloons were arranged in a way that it looks like the balloons holding up the house in Up. Freshmen and their boundless energies, honestly. "You said it was a classic."   
  
"Well, why didn't  _ you _ stop me then?" Junmyeon shoots back, but he sighs and takes out his wallet to pay for a round. "The things I do for you, honestly."   
  
"Less talking, more throwing," He shoos him, grinning around his straw as Junmyeon tries—and fails magnificently—to pierce the balloons with the darts. It takes him two more rounds to win a minor prize, less out of his skill and more out of the booth watcher's pity, but he still looks extremely proud of himself as he hands Kyungsoo a purple plush flower, the kind with the twistable stem and a big smile on the middle that you can buy in practically every gift shop, ever.   
  
"It'll grow into a penguin," He says cheekily, and Kyungsoo hits him on the arm with it.   
  
They end up hopping around the game booths even though Kyungsoo's drink is already empty because Junmyeon enjoyed himself a little too much. "The bouncy castle can wait," He says as he drags him towards the next booth. He tries his luck again in throwing rings into bottles (and fails again), but redeems himself in the matching game that the sophomores made and wins Kyungsoo a bag of candy. They went fishing for metal goldfish in a pool of foam balls using magnets, and they get a matching pair of little fish keychains that Junmyeon insists on hanging on their IDs. They join Jongin, his girlfriend Soojung, and a few other friends of theirs in a round of the inflatable beer pong-inspired game Junmyeon approved, making much more noise than the freshmen wandering around the field with their laughter and hollers (Kyungsoo's team won, much to Junmyeon's annoyance).   
  
The fun halts a bit when Kyungsoo has to rush and rectify a problem with one of the rides, soothing the frenzied logistics head as he talks to the school technician. Junmyeon wanders off while he finds a solution—where to, he'll never know—but he doesn't really mind, because when he finally fixes everything and leaves the calmer logistics head to oversee repairs, the latter comes back with a cone of churros for them to share. He really, really doesn't mind, because before Junmyeon could offer him the snack or tell him off about working nonstop, a pair of jail booth "guards" traps the boy with a hula hoop.    
  
"Great catch," Baekhyun, one of the guards, snickers as he reaches around for a fist bump from his partner. "Off to the jail booth now, c'mon. No amnesty for soccer MVPs."   
  
"Hey! What did I do?" Junmyeon complains. "I just bought churros!"   
  
"Didn't you hear? We're jailing people in white," Jongdae, the other guard, reaches over and tugs at his sleeve. "Really, Junmyeon, we announced it just a few minutes ago. If you weren't so preoccupied with your little date over here—"   
  
"Okay! Fine! I'm going, jeez," Junmyeon cuts him off, handing the churros to Kyungsoo with a pout. "Look at your guards, Kyungsoo. They're torturing me."   
  
"Carry on, boys," Kyungsoo replies nonchalantly, hiding a smile behind a churro as Junmyeon whines, Baekhyun and Jongdae laughing as they all troop back to the booth.   
  
Turns out Junmyeon's dare—which he grudgingly drew from a fishbowl of rolled up paper—is to sing someone a love song using a bright red megaphone. The soccer player promptly grabs it, turns it on, and exaggeratedly clears his throat before saying, "I dedicate this song to Do Kyungsoo, our vice president and the best fair head ever!" Kyungsoo barely has the time to hide (both himself and his blush) before Junmyeon bursts into an annoying, flat version of Can't Help Falling In Love, warbling well above all the cheers and whistles. He even does a few dance steps, almost like he's in a musical, making Kyungsoo blush even darker and everyone who was watching them laugh.   
  
"Take my hand," Junmyeon sings, reaching for him with a big, bright grin, "Take my whole life too, for I can't help falling in love with you."   
  
_ Me too _ , he thinks as he watches the latter coaxes the crowd to sing with him. He looks down at their joined hands, looks at the way Junmyeon's fingers are snug against his, like they were meant to be there, revels in the way it anchors him, makes him feel secure and safe with a simple touch.  _ I couldn't help it even if I tried.  _ _   
_   
After Junmyeon has finished embarrassing himself, they finally make their way to try the rides. They go on a round in the small roller coaster, the cold air whipping their faces as they laugh all throughout the ride. Kyungsoo insists on a round on the spinning teacups because the line is short, giggling as Junmyeon stumbles out once the ride is over and leans against him for support. They decide to go to the viking ride next, which makes the latter perk up and tug him towards the last row because "it's best to ride at the back, Kyungsoo!" He quickly regrets this decision, Junmyeon clutching his arm and half-laughs, half-sobs against his shirt as Kyungsoo chuckles through the g-force and the momentum and all those physics concepts that doesn't interest him one bit. Taking pity on him, he drags Junmyeon towards the merry go round, holding his hand as they ride matching blue-maned white ponies. They probably look silly, two seniors laughing and holding hands among the small children, but they don't find it in them to care. Finally—and because the line is now bearable—they go on the bouncy castle, toeing off their shoes and joining Chanyeol in hopping their way through the many "halls" which basically are just sectioned off areas designed differently. Junmyeon insists on going on a round down the slide, so they clamber up the inflatable steps after Chanyeol—who almost slips and kicks Kyungsoo down, because he's clumsy like that—and slide down to the ball pit together, laughter mingling in the late afternoon. This cues a dodgeball session, and Kyungsoo learns how hard it is to chase someone in a ball pit when he tries to exact revenge on Junmyeon hitting him on the shoulder. (He resorts to pushing him down the slide instead.)    
  
"Okay, I'm tired," Kyungsoo says breathlessly as they exit the inflatables and put their shoes back on. "Want to get dinner? The concert's starting soon, anyway."   
  
"Food sounds great. I saw a great fish and chips stall when I bought our churros," Junmyeon nods enthusiastically, tugging him towards the food stalls. They get fair food essentials to share—fish and chips, fried rice, mini corn dogs, cheese sticks, fried oreos, and fresh lemonade—and sit cross-legged on the field near the gym where the concert is being held, enjoying grease and sugar with a jazzy rendition of hit pop songs in the background and each other's company. They talk and laugh and eat their fill well into the night, leaning against each other as they watch the crowd slowly dwindle along with the darkening of the skies, when the school is lit up with multicolored lights instead of the sun and the crowd thins out as the students go home.    
  
It's not the grandest of endings to an otherwise fun-filled day, but Kyungsoo doesn't really mind, not when his stomach is full, his cheeks ache from laughing too much, and Junmyeon's warmth a constant presence on his side. This is enough for him.   
  
  


  
  


  
This is what never happens:   
  
"It's official, boys," Chanyeol announces as he marches towards their lunch table, bright red tray laden with food. "Prom season is upon us."   
  
"We can see that." Kyungsoo nods at the promposal going on a few feet away from them. A scrawny red-haired boy is serenading a pretty blonde girl with a slightly off-key version of I'm Yours in his ukulele. "You think he'll get rejected?"   
  
"He's asking  _ the _ Bae Joohyun. What do you think?" Chanyeol snorts, munching on an apple. "Let’s face it, she'll probably reject Junmyeon if he dares to ask her out."   
  
"Debatable. I saw her cheering in the stands during our last game," Junmyeon shrugs, concentrated on watching the promposal as he chews on his straw, and Kyungsoo feels uneasy all of a sudden. "Not that I had plans to ask her in the first place," The latter adds, smiling at them, and he learns how to breathe again.   
  
"Anyway," He quickly changes the subject, digging his spoon into his rice to dissipate the churning of his stomach. "Who do  _ you _ plan on asking, Chanyeol?"   
  
"Baekhyun," Chanyeol immediately answers. "I plan on promposing this Friday."   
  
"Good luck with that, I heard from Yifan that Baekhyun has gained quite a following after the talent show," Junmyeon hums, still quite immersed in the promposal near them. The guy is down on one knee now, the poor thing. "Better hustle up if you want that date, Yeol."   
  
"Tomorrow, then," Chanyeol shrugs, unperturbed as he sets his half-eaten apple aside and digs into his japchae. "What about you, Kyungsoo? Anyone in mind?"   
  
He does, actually. And that guy is seated right beside him, watching a promposal with moony eyes. But he knows the risk is too high, and he's sure to get a no. Who was he, to get a yes from the Kim Junmyeon, when the soccer MVP has a lot of admirers—Bae Joohyun, Byun Baekhyun, even freshmen and sophomores that are just simply better than him? He  likes his heart whole and unbruised, thanks, so he shrugs and lies easily. "No, not really," Kyungsoo says, nibbling on a piece of chicken. "Might go stag or something. Dunno. It's a good few weeks away, so..."   
  
"Two weeks isn't a few, Soo. Just make up your mind," Chanyeol says around a mouthful of noodles. "What about you, Junmyeon? Or are you too overwhelmed with the multitude of promposals you get everyday?"   
  
"Oh, I have someone in mind, but I'm not sure if I'm in theirs," Junmyeon chuckles, tearing his eyes away from the promposal to go back to his salad wrap, and Kyungsoo's heart hurts. "If they say no, then I'm going alone. No biggie."   
  
" _ No biggie _ ? The entire student body will probably be in tears when they see you go stag," The tall boy snorts. "Who is it, anyway?"   
  
"You'll know on prom night," Junmyeon grins at them. "Or not, if they say no."   
  
"But that's two weeks away," Chanyeol complains. "The suspense is killing me, man. Can't you tell us who it is? We won't tell them!"   
  
"Nope. Want my chips?" Junmyeon says instead, pushing the bag of deep-fried kale (his older brother is going through a superfood phase) towards the latter. Kyungsoo snorts and goes back to his food, chewing slowly as he watches the guy walk away dejectedly from an apologetic Joohyun and tries not to think about who Junmyeon wants to ask to prom.   
  
(He still does, though, because he's masochistic like that. The question bothers him all day, turning round and round his head and distracting him well enough that Jongin has to snap fingers in front of his face during a meeting. It bothers him even after a relaxing weekend spent at home, and it leaves him wanting for prom to come sooner just so he could find out who that person is and excessively compare himself so he can feel much, much worse.)   
  
But because fate is a funny, fickle little thing, he gets his answer two days before prom, on an overcast Thursday that ends a bit later than he would've liked. The prom committee apparently still had a lot of problems, and Kyungsoo had to help resolve them all. Sighing, he leans back in his chair and tiredly waves as the committee members file out of the conference room, chattering happily now that they have their much-needed solutions. Well, he has a headache, a backache, and an untouched pile of trigonometry homework,  _ and _ he still has to walk home alone. Life is unfair.   
  
A soft knock interrupts his moping, and he looks up to see Junmyeon peeking from behind the door. "Hey," He smiles gently. "Meeting's done?"   
  
"Yeah. What are you doing here? It's late," Kyungsoo asks, beckoning him to go inside as he packs up his things. "You're not supposed to have practice today."   
  
"I don't. I waited for you," Junmyeon answers, smile unwavering. "The field is quite peaceful at this hour; not much students milling around. Great for naps."   
  
"You didn't have to wait for me, you know my meetings end late," Kyungsoo sighs as he hefts his heavy backpack on his shoulders and moves to turn off the heater and lights. "Don't you have homework to do? I still haven't started on my trig worksheets, God help me."   
  
"I did them earlier. And yes, before you even ask, I'll send them to you when I get home," Junmyeon says, holding the door open for him as he steps out of the conference room. "I just didn't want to go home alone today, so I waited for you."   
  
"I guess there's no use in berating you for wasting your time, so thanks, I guess," He smiles, weary but genuine. "I don't want to go home alone today, too, so I appreciate the company."   
  
Junmyeon makes a sympathetic noise and loops his arm around Kyungsoo's, warmth seeping through his sweater. It's welcome in the rapidly cooling afternoon, with the temperatures dropping as the sky gets streaked with the oranges and reds of a sunset. "Rough day?" He asks as they exit the building and make their way towards the gates. "Come on, tell me about it."   
  
And so Kyungsoo does. He tells him about his morning rush, about him almost missing the morning ceremonies because a car broke down in the middle of the street, about the extra long lecture his homeroom teacher did about cigarette smoking just because she smelled smoke (which turned out to be coming from a janitor cleaning the open windows outside). He tells him about his boring classes, about his groupmates in his elective that weren't cooperative today, about his confusing Lit lecture on Langston Hughes and even more difficult Trigonometry lecture on trigonometric functions. He tells him about the lack of chicken parm in the cafeteria, about the heater in the student council workroom being wonky, and about the prom committee giving him a huge headache  _ and _ so much flak about going stag. It's quite unlike himself to let out steam through ranting, but there's something about Junmyeon that just makes him feel secure enough to vent all his problems. Junmyeon is a great listener—reacting appropriately at the right time, interjecting his own experiences only when needed, and constantly assuring him that he's still listening with soft hums and gentle nudges. He takes all of his problems, empties him of sadness and anger and replaces them with sunshine and warmth so that when they finally reach Kyungsoo's porch, he no longer feels like giving up on the world.   
  
"I'm sorry for ranting all the way here," He says apologetically as he rummages around his backpack for his house keys with his free hand. "You probably regret waiting for me."   
  
"Please. I'm glad you got it out of your system," Junmyeon smiles at him, squeezing his arm. "Now go up and take a nap so you can feel better. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"   
  
Kyungsoo nods, untangling himself from Junmyeon and going up his porch steps to unlock his door. From years of experience, he knows Junmyeon will only leave once he disappears behind the front door. He also knows the lock can get sticky during the winter, so he spends a good few minutes struggling before he finally hears the door unlock. Pushing it open with his shoulder, he turns to ask Junmyeon if he wants to go inside for a cup of tea—   
  
—only to find Junmyeon grinning nervously at him, holding in one hand a bunch of pink roses (that looked quite squished, probably from being in his backpack all day) and in the other...chicken popcorn?   
  
"Um, Junmyeon?" He says slowly. "Why do you have chicken popcorn?"   
  
"This is me, because, well, I'm a chicken for not asking you earlier," Junmyeon replies sheepishly, gesturing to the takeout box, and Kyungsoo is torn between kicking him for that awful joke and bursting into tears. "But, uh, I hope you'll accept this chicken? And go to prom with him?"   
  
Junmyeon wants to go to prom with  _ him _ . He's the one he wanted to ask. The realization dawns on him slowly, creeping on his heart and filling it with sheer happiness. "I'm not Jongin, I can't be bribed with chicken," He says nonchalantly, trying his best not to sound too excited. He even dons on an unimpressed look for show, but it backfires spectacularly as the corners of his mouth twitch visibly, a smile threatening to escape any time soon.   
  
"Not even chicken popcorn?" Junmyeon pouts, eyes round and hopeful, and it crumbles his resolve enough for him to finally break into a grin and run back down to throw his arms around the other boy.   
  
"You're so silly," Kyungsoo laughs, breathless and elated and full of light. "That might be the lamest promposal I have ever heard. I don't know why I'm accepting it."   
  
"Hey, I thought of that pun for—" Junmyeon cuts himself off mid-defensive rant as Kyungsoo's words register in his mind, slowly pulling away to look at him with shock written all over his face. "Wait, you're saying yes? You'll go to prom with me?"   
  
"Yes, Junmyeon, even if you're lame, I'll still go to prom with you," He says, smile widening as Junmyeon's expression morphs from surprise to pure, unadulterated happiness. The latter places the flowers and the food down on the porch steps before picking him up and spinning him around, his whoops of joy mingling with Kyungsoo's laughter as they go round and round, feet light and hearts even lighter.   
  
Kyungsoo once dreamed of a promposal as grand as those in the movies—hand painted signs, big bouquets, a special song number, maybe even an overly complicated treasure hunt of sorts. But right now, as he revels in the sound of Junmyeon's laughter and the warmth of his embrace, he wouldn't trade his slightly squashed roses and chicken popcorn for the world.   
  
  


  
  


  
This is what happens:   
  
They sit on the old swing set in Junmyeon's backyard, feet kicking up dust as they occasionally rock their own swings. Moonlight casts its glow softly on them, making their shadows a bit subdued as it falls and melts into the dark lawn behind them. It's a bit chilly for a summer night, too cold to be out in only shorts and jerseys and loose shirts, but they don't mind—after all, it's the last one before Junmyeon leaves for New York.   
  
"I have a confession to make," Junmyeon announces, fingers wrapped loosely on the chains. The paint is almost entirely chipped off, the green looking like pitch black spots on the rusty metal in the darkness of the night. "Promise me you won't laugh."   
  
"When did I ever laugh at you?" Kyungsoo answers, scruffy Vans toeing at a rock. Autumn is creeping in, and paired with the extremely hot summer, Junmyeon's backyard is barren. "You know what, don't answer that. What is it?"   
  
"I'm scared," Junmyeon says, voice its usual calm cadence but with a tinge of nervousness in it, susceptible only if one knows how to look. Kyungsoo is an expert in that; he has been constantly looking for it since they were young. "Of flying, of being in New York alone, of being discriminated, of college. Of the future."   
  
"Everyone's scared of the future, in one way or another," He replies, kicking the ground and letting the crisp air whip his face as he swings. "You can do it, Junmyeon. I believe in you."   
  
"Easy for you to say. I'm not as good as you think I am, Soo," The latter sighs. "Until now, you still put so much faith in me."   
  
"I never had the reason to doubt you." Kyungsoo shrugs, as if his answer is the most obvious thing in the world. "You got the soccer championships, you're crowned MVP for the season, you won prom king, and you graduated batch valedictorian. You accomplished everything I knew you would, and more. You got everything you wanted, and more. Why should I lose faith in you, when I saw you accomplish such great things?"   
  
"I didn't get everything I wanted, you know," Junmyeon laughs, but it's hollow and sad and quite unlike his regular laugh that is full of sunshine. "There are many things that I still haven't done. Many regrets that I wish I avoided when I had the chance to. Many opportunities that I didn't take."   
  
"You do?" It's the first time Kyungsoo has heard of this fact. Junmyeon has always chased his dreams, and when opportunities don't present themselves to him, he creates them himself. Hearing this definitely puts him off-kilter, and for a moment he tries to look back and wonder when did Junmyeon ever miss a chance. "Why didn't you, then?"   
  
"I was afraid," The latter replies simply. "I wasn't sure of myself if I could do it. I had a lot to lose, and I thought—and still think—the risks weren't worth it. So I didn't pursue them."   
  
"And yet you always told me to follow through each door that opens for me," Kyungsoo shakes his head, but it's rueful rather than condescending. "You know, this is the first time I heard about this. You always seem like the type to rally on."   
  
"What can I say? I build such great façades, I should be the one who'll pursue architecture," Junmyeon teases, but his eyes are devoid of mirth. "But I do have a lot of regrets, I just don't...broadcast them, I suppose. Like not joining the decathlon. Not sleeping more and taking my vitamins. Not making more friends earlier. Not asking that someone to prom. Stuff like that."   
  
"Oh, yeah. You  _ did _ go stag, didn't you?" He says. "Chanyeol was so livid, he was excited to know who you wanted to ask."   
  
"Yeah, well, I chickened out at the last minute, so sucks for him, I suppose," Junmyeon chuckles. "Anyway, they probably didn't want to go with me in the first place, so. Eh."   
  
"Is there such a person in our school, really?" It was Kyungsoo's turn to tease, hiding uneasiness and jealousy and regret underneath his usual sarcasm. "I highly doubt it, man. Who was it, anyway?"   
  
"Ah, I told you two you'll only know if they go to prom with me, right? I'll carry that secret to my grave," Junmyeon winks. "Feel free to ask my ghost about it."   
  
"Junmyeon," He whines, earning him a laugh that is a little less sadder and a little fuller. Genuine. "Ugh. You suck."   
  
"You say that now, but I know you'll miss me when I leave for New York," The latter says smugly, fingers drumming against the chains.    
  
"Of course I will," Kyungsoo replies quietly, and Junmyeon's smile turns wry. "It'll be weird to not see you everyday."   
  
"I know," Junmyeon sighs, fingers incessant in their little anxious dance. "Sure I can't convince you to apply for a scholarship in NYU?"   
  
"You know I have to stay here in Seoul," It's Kyungsoo's turn to smile ruefully, running a hand through his hair. "Mom isn't used to not having me far away from her, and Dad—"   
  
"—wants you to study in Yonsei, I know," The latter finishes for him sadly. "Wishful thinking, Soo. Wouldn't it be great though? We could rent an apartment, grab bagels and coffee together for breakfast, go sightseeing, ride our bikes..."   
  
"It's equally as great here in Seoul, you know," He says. "You'll miss the street food, the cherry blossoms, the annoyingly catchy pop music, the fast trains..."   
  
"And you," Junmyeon smiles at him, just a simple, sad quirk of his lips, and Kyungsoo's heart hurts. "You'll visit me, right? In New York?"   
  
"I'll try my best," Kyungsoo nods. "And you'll go home for the holidays, right? And summer?"   
  
"Definitely. Wouldn't miss them for the world," The once-soccer superstar hums, rocking his swing slightly with a foot. "We'll be okay, right? We'll still be friends even if I'm on the other side of the world? You won't abandon me for someone else?"   
  
"Junmyeon, please," Kyungsoo snorts. "I'm not going to forget you any time soon. We'll make it work. We'll be fine."   
  
"You better not find a new best friend," Junmyeon grumbles under his breath, trying to mask his nervousness with sarcasm. "You're sending me off tomorrow, right?"   
  
"Wouldn't miss it," He says. Junmyeon, he notices, is still hesitant, still afraid, and he badly wants to reach out and comfort him with the gentlest of touches. But he doesn't have the courage for that, so he settles for clenching his fists tightly on the chains holding up his swing. "It'll be fine, Junmyeon. Have a little faith."   
  
"It's a hard feat, considering I won't have you by my side all the time there," Junmyeon mumbles, looking up at him with such sad eyes. "You'll still be with me, right? Even if we're oceans apart?"   
  
And maybe, just maybe, this is what the stories tell: two halves of a whole, lost but will always be found, separated but will always find their way back to each other. Apart, but connected. And maybe later they'll bid goodbye to each other so they could go back to their own homes and get some much-needed sleep, and much later they'll bid goodbye to each other so Junmyeon wouldn't miss his flight, and much, much later their goodbyes will just be heard through video calls and read through lengthy e-mails, but it's never a final goodbye. Each goodbye holds a promise of a next time. And Kyungsoo might have a lot of regrets, might have lost a lot of opportunities because of that much-coveted next time that never comes, but if that promise is what he can get, then who is he to complain, when he is deprived of a now but assured of a tomorrow? It's not going to be the easiest of rides, mind, but he's had his fair share of obstacles and road bumps. They'll make it through this, together.   
  
"Always," Kyungsoo promises, smiling.   
  
They'll be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Looking through my old drafts, wips, and published works, I realized that I write nothing but seemingly unrequited pining. This was my solution to that problem—which obviously: 1) grew out of proportions and 2) didn't work at all. Lol why am I like this. What is this even lol I have no excuse for this. Anyway HELLO it's been a while!!! Hope uni and adult life are not zapping your life force away (unlike me)!!!! ❤️ honestly the only things keeping me alive are exo's v apps and nct 127's debut huhuhu *aggressively waves white flag*


End file.
